kUkAi

This is my first valentines day with my baby, we wanted and planned it to be as memorable and as fun as it can be. I don’t want flowers, chocolates or those kind of gifts that people usually received during this occasion. My demand: i want it to be super special yet simple.

Saturday- February 14

I am so busy preparing the things and the food that we have to bring. (Note: the food was especially made by me! yum!)

At around 11 am, pa texted me, “Ma, papunta na ko.” the first thing that came to my mind was that probably she did not received the gift that i ordered for valentines day. So, i ask her to call me.

Phone Conversation:

Me: Wala ka nareceive? As in ung balloons and flowers kasi sabi ko dapat before 11 anjan na un eh.

Pa (so calm and convincing): HA? Nagpadala ka? Di ba sabi natin walang flowers flowers?

Me: Na sa iyo noh?

Pa: Wala nga sakn.

Me (Stressed out, planning of calling the shop.)

Pa: Ndi. Na sakn na. Kaasar ka, sabi mo wla dapat flowers.

Me: Naman eh. Bahala ka, yoko ng kausapin ka… Cge na mamaya na lang. (Haha! Napahiya kasi ako, super tense eh, na sa kanya naman pala.)

And then, we hung up, i can’t help but smile… nakakatuwa! I’m glad i made my baby happy.

 

 

I have no idea where we will be spending the weekend, all I know is that it is the northern part. On our way to our ’secret’ destination, I was just blindfolded the whole time, my baby, wanted me to not know where we’re going, so i was being cooperative though i hate the anticipation and the long hours of waiting for the surprise.

It was so believable. Sobrang galing umarte and magconvince. My baby just let me talk and talk for me not to guess where we’re heading. I was not even aware that I was babbling about the directions.

After more than an hour, the car came to a stop…

As i was removing my blindfold, i can’t help but laugh and admire her for being such a good surprise keeper, I did not have any idea that we will be back at the place where we had our first quality time.

 

 

we unloaded our things, rested and went to picnic grove  to have our sweet and simple and picnic and for my baby to enjoy the view–the view that she always and will forever love. She is so easy to please, she enjoy even the littlest and simplest things/gestures.

She brought a cute and sosyal na picnic basket that is so matched with what i brought: carbonara and adobo without any utensils.

 

 

 

After eating, we went for a walk to get to the zipline queue… At first, my baby was the one afraid pero at the end, ako na yung gusto na lang magpababa. scary!

Pa was the one who was strapped first and then I was having second thoughts about going, then pa shouted anxiously: “Ma, dali”  I was so touched by that moment, i felt that she was getting strength from me, as i am also getting strength from her. Our love is really a two-way street, one of the things I am so proud of.

The zipline started, i was extremely quiet while my baby was screaming and enjoying, then, it came to a stop! bitin! It was less than a minute. The ride was so fun, sobrang bitin lang talaga. it will really make you ask for more. We enjoyed it very much that we would try it again next time.

 

We went back to our hotel room and then I saw a mini photo album with her writings and artworks in it.  I was so touched! My baby never failed to make me feel special.

 

Sunday- February 15

I woke up, my pa woke up, I slept, I woke up, my pa slept, I slept. Bottom line: Sarap matulog kasama siya, super relaxing.

 

We had our lunch at Sanctuario by the summit and desserts at Starbucks tagaytay. We just relaxed and talked there. My baby and I can talk about anything, no pretensions and no lies.

And then we went back to Manila and pampered ourselves. Nagpa footspa siya, ako naman manicure and pedicure… Naawa na raw siya sa kuko ko. Sweet! napakastressful daw. My baby always wants the best for me, there’s nothing more to ask for.

My valentine weekend was a blast, it was super memorable. Sobrang complete, we relaxed, we bonded, tried ‘extreme things’, eat anywhere and anytime, pampered ourselves. It was the life—life that I would whole-heartedly live for the rest of my life. 

it is my fault.

there are times that i felt i was the one responsible for all my failed relationships. i feel that despite their unfaithfulness, it’s because of my attitude, i cant help but demand, nag and cling.

but, despite all that, i can say that i’m a good girlfriend, it’s just that maybe, that does not matter at all…

so there… it all failed…

now, i have this close to perfect relationship and i have the greatest significant other that anyone can dream of, i can’t help but blame myself for all our fights and misunderstandings. it’s all my fault.

it’s just that no matter how i try to lessen my over clinginess and my over flowing demands, it does not help.

i don’t want to lose one of the best blessings god gave me, i hope i will not lose my significant other just because of those stupid reasons…

this relationship is worth all the time and effort to make it work. i’ll do whatever it takes for this relationship to last the way it should be…

forever.

what does my horoscope says?

 

 

“The noise of the world has been adding to your stress level — get some quiet time.”

 

I really want to have that kind of time… i’m really tired, exhausted and i lost all the esteem i seem to have… i’m so down… i just want to relax and think things through… i want to know what i really want, i want to know what will make me be interested in things that needs my attention…

 

 

i just want to lie down, curl up, cry out loud, just like what babies do when they don’t feel good and just like what adults do when they just want to rest from all the hustle and just go back in time where things are perfectly fine.

my dad extended his vacation, instead of leaving last friday, it was moved today, october 15, 12.20 pm…

 

i’m here at the office wishing that i can drive him to the airport…

 

but instead he was the one who dropped me off at our office. it was a 20 minute ride—most of that time we were silent. maybe thinking of things that can lighten up the mood… but there were none… we both know that he needs to go back to bahrain, for us.

 

he just said, “ingat ka anak ah…”, we hugged and then i got out… i don’t want him to see me crying, it will just make him so sad… he too didn’t say a word, knowing my dad, he’ll cry. though we always go through that having to say see you part, we just can’t get used to it.

 

my dad’s not the mushy type but his actions speak for itself… he loves us dearly and we love him too…

 

 

 

i’ll miss him…

i got the chance to hear two different stories from two different fathers…

they were recalling stories that showed they were at their child’s side when they first crawled, took their first walk and spoke their first word…

they have these beautiful and funny memories to talk about…

how i wish my dad was also present when i had my firsts… how i wish he does not need to work overseas… but that’s the way life goes… it’s just so sad…

i’m writing this entry to express how happy and blessed i am to have an altruistic father who will sacrifice and give everything just for his family…

my dad will be leaving for Bahrain on friday, it will be another two long years for us to see him again… we will miss our travel moments, our shopping marathons and just the plain, special talks we always have everytime i go home from work… i will surely miss him… that’s why this time, i’ll exert extra effort to convince him to retire and to settle here in the Philippines…

i have to start seeing things in a positive light… i’m stressing myself and my loved ones everytime i am being negative about a lot of things…

 

i wish i could learn to be optimistic… fast…

i wish i could just slow down, breathe and think rationally everytime i am under pressure…

i wish i could give what is expected from me without exhausting my time, my effort and my energy…

at this very moment, i should be finishing my work-related duties due tomorrow, 9 am, but my mind is just full of thoughts—bothering thoughts, that is.

i hate the fact that i don’t know what i am doing… i just want to rant about how this task makes me feel incompetent… how can i finish this task when i was not the one assigned to work on it first hand… parang naisipan lang na iapagawa yun sakn, ng i don’t even know kung anong root… parang papasok ako sa isang bagay na wala naman akong kaide-idea… ang epal lang…

 

i don’t know if i will give up or will try harder… this is just not me… but where will i go? where will this dilemma take me?

 

i feel like i am not being productive for the past 5months… i want something that will make feel that i am growing, that i am excelling and something that will make me say that i am what i do…

 

i miss psychological terms and i’m tired of technical stuff….

 

 

IT’S JUST NOT ME— it’s so depressing…

i was absent from work yesterday because of some reasons:

1. i don’t feel like working… as in nakakatamad…

2. i don’t like what i’m doing… it is so techie! as in… pwede na bang magresign? ganun ang feeling!

3. i want to look for a job that i will surely love… trabahong hindi magmumukhang trabaho kasi i love every minute of it…

 

my ever supportive ko kou ko le fetched me after I took a series of exams and interview in Makati and rant about it.  I complained about how redundant the exams are—i felt like i always answer the same type of psychological tests—and i’m starting from scratch! how frustrating!

 

so we stayed at Starbucks until the typhoon Marce came. Madamot ung guard ayaw kameng pahiramin ng payong…. argh! he’s just there enjoying his paper… so muntikan pa kami mag-away kasi nagiinarte ako sa sobrang lakas ng ulan at kailangan namin sugurin iyon, kung ayaw kong matow. So, I had no choice, nilakad namin hangang sa parking na napakalayo… when we realized na sobrang basa narn naman kame… aun, nagenjoy kami habang slowly walking under the rain, parang nagsstroll lang sa mall… as in… at super nag-enjoy naman kami… pagdating sa kotse, ayun, pwede ng pigain ung damit namin, lalo na iyong damit nia…

 

i really love the rain… kahit depress-depressan ako nung araw na iyon, happy pa rin kasi umuulan na,  kasama mo pa ung significant other mo… PERFECT!

 

our quality time did not stop there…

 

we went to a special school in Gilmore, where kookoo, mommy aps and daine are working and having the best time of their lives…

 

i want to work there too…

 

masaya… ang daming matutunan, stress-free, laid back, walang mga taong aalisin ang tiwala mo sa sarili… basta… masaya… just seeing those kids do their own, simple thing and being extremely happy about it just gave me the biggest smile on my face after leaving the place…

 

sana matanggap ako.. sana may slot pa rin.. kasi naman, hindi ko man lang inayos ung essay type exam nung school… sobrang naexcite lang, kaya ayun, kung anong pumasok sa isip ko, sinusulat ko kaagad… no spell and grammar check… read. think.write.submit.done.

 

until now, i still can’t forget the happiness that i felt and how my other half was so happy to see me happy…

 

after that unforgettable experience, we planned to sleep at their house, pero, naman! sobrang traffic.. as in… naikot na namin cainta, sa paghahanap lang ng way to get to taytay… as in… nagutom na kami… that’s the only time we realized that we should have taken the antipolo route to get to their house… we had our lunch-snack-dinner at padi’s… GRABE! ang asim ng sinigang… we loved it…!

  

and then we were home… at last..!

 

i think mas matagal pa iyong travel time namin kesa sa sleeping time but it was all worth it… binagyo, nastranded, natuto, nagutom, napagod, nagenjoy—sa isang araw lang…

 

DEFINITELY,  ANOTHER QT WORTH REMEMEBERING…

 

 

… pwede bang magleave ulit?

whew…! glad that was over… that was the longest fight i had with my other half… 4 hours and it felt like forever… it all started because of a simple word that led us venting our feelings…

we realized things. we argued. we cried. we talked. and now we’re okay…

and we promised that we won’t let that happen again…

i’m proud that i am in the kind of relationship where all problems can be faced and solved by talking things over… i just can’t explain how happy i am that i am blessed to have the one…ÜÜÜ

though i’m having a hard time with my job—walang growth, walang sense of fulfillment, walang fun.

i’m blessed that i have someone who inspires me in everything that i do… someone who still gives me the reason why i should love and appreciate everything i have… someone who believes in me and gives me back the esteem and the boost that i need…

well, it’s true, we can’t have everything that we want but we can have everything that we deserve…

i know we deserve each other… and that would stay that way…

i may be unlucky in other aspects, but i dont care, for what i have is more than enough for me to feel that everything would be fine…

and i am okay with that…

just having my special someone at my side reminds me that i already have the best and i would need nothing else. ♥♥♥